Words words words

Words are failing me lately. I have thought of so many things to blog about that I don’t know where to start. None of these things go that well together, yet on their own, they would each make for a pretty lackluster blog.

And yet… I feel odd not writing for days on end. 

We’re still struggling with medication issues.  Colin seems to be sleeping better, which is good.  He’s still wandering out at lord-only-knows-o’clock to sleep on the couch, but at least he’s sleeping.  He seems – to me – quite out of control on the 20mg Adderall XR and yet he’s having “green” days in school, so I’m not what we should do.  Mornings and evenings are more of a terror than usual.  Even sending him to his room doesn’t work, because he physically can’t stay in there for more than a few seconds at a time – door open or shut, it doesn’t matter. He will pop his head out or ask a question or tell you something every flippin’ 30 seconds.  I would honestly say mornings are better than evenings, but even that’s a struggle.  Within 5 minutes of waking up (if you’re lucky) he’s at 10 on the hyper scale. 

Evenings? He’s on 12.

The mixed blessing is he’s become a bottomless pit.  He’s out-eating all of us at most meals and constantly asking for snacks!  Hopefully he’ll gain a few pounds!

We won’t see the Psych until 5/31 due to scheduling issues.  Phone calls haven’t seemed to cut it – again, I never feel like we’re explaining things quite right.


Last Friday was Robbie’s Kindergarten Graduation.  So much cuteness.  I wish I could share some pics without violating the privacy of others, but I’ll just keep them to myself for now.  They put on a little production to show off what they’ve learned this year.  This school has been so good for Robbie. He’s learned a good bit of Spanish as well as improved his handwriting and spelling. He’s learned dance, theater and art basics.  He’s just blossomed in ways he never would have at the daycare we had him in last year. 

I was surprised to learn that most of the other parents are holding their kids back and repeating kindergarten in the fall – even kids that are technically old enough to be in 1st grade without any testing.  Here I am testing to push him ahead.  I don’t feel that my choice is any better or worse than those parents holding their kids back.  Sure, he may mature a little slower than the other kids in his class, but what about the ones being held back? They’ll be hitting puberty before any of their peers.  I have to imagine that it all evens out somewhere along the way.  As long as he’s capable, I want to give him opportunities to excel.


The other thing that’s been weighing on my mind…is me. In fact, I’ve been pretty self-absorbed lately.  Not entirely a bad thing from time to time.

I was going through the process to get the Lap Band procedure done.  Rick had it done almost 2 years ago and has just done great.  I even started a little side blog about it – http://eyeononederland.wordpress.com

Today, I got the call that I don’t meet insurance requirements.  No lap band for me.

However, through the past two months of working on the insurance requirements (the ones I was able to meet), I learned a lot about myself.  I’ve had a mental switching of gears and – lap band or not – I’m ready for change. I’m taking better care of myself and I have a goal in mind.  I want to lose 70-80lbs over the next 12-18 months.  Not unrealistic. 

I have studied nutrition so much over the past 15+ years – I know the ins & outs, I understand why I crave the things I do, etc.  I have always approached this part of my life scientifically – I’m not one for “fad” diets or insane exercise routines.  I love attending boot camps when I can afford to, but we also have a regular gym membership and my office building has access to a great walking path with shade that winds around a pond.

In anticipation of getting lap band, I had Rick take “before” pictures for me.  Front, side, back… the view from all angles were such a painful reality check.  The next day, I renewed my vow of fitness and nutrition.  I’ve been journaling my food and exercise – today is just day 4, but I already feel a difference.

I’m rambling. If you want to know more about all that, please take a look at the other blog… I ramble there even more. 🙂


I’m feeling a bit deflated at the moment.  Stress with Colin, summer approaching, lap band denial… I’m ready for that week in July when Rick and I can just relax and escape from everything for a bit.  I need to recharge.

My kingdom for a nap right about now. 🙂

13 responses to “Words words words

  1. Have you ever thought of doing time outs on an exercise bike or mini trampoline. Might burn off some extra energy. I even had one kid who did his time outs running flights of stairs. Just a thought. It worked wonders in my classroom.

    • That would be a treat to Colin, I think. lol He asks us all the time if we’ll buy him a treadmill! Running stairs would be a great idea if we had them… I just don’t know what to do. There are only so many “punishments” we can give that don’t have to be closely monitored for his own safety. He may a ton of energy, but he’s a klutz with very little common sense lol

  2. Hi Sara – I’m sorry things are not A-OK right now. Hopefully they cheer up soon. I may steal that “exercise/time out” idea from Gwenael if that’s ok. Colin sounds so much like my Ace. Lots of energy, Klutzy and not much common sense.

  3. Hope you get a nap in soon… And that the appt on the 31st will be helpful for everyone.

    • Thank you!
      I got a great night sleep last night, so that helped. I also realized yesterday that I’ve somehow quit caffeine without really trying… yesterday was my first full day without ANY caffeine. Probably why I felt like I was in need of a nap. lol

      • Quitting caffeine on accident should maybe be its own how-to blog post… Just saying. I could use it. 🙂

      • Ha!
        I just started drinking a ton of water… got so busy drinking water that I “forgot” to get my usual soda or two (or three) throughout the day. 🙂

  4. I know every kid is different, but I often find that if I can get the kids outside in the late afternoon to burn off some of that energy – it really helps. The kids love it when I get on the trampoline with them (and all that jumping is quite a workout). Even going for a walk around the block can be a help. L loves to have something specific to do otherwise he ends up doing all the really super annoying things like opening and closing doors a million times, climbing on furniture, turning the kettle on – you KNOW what I’m talking about!

    • At the risk of sounding like I’m full of excuses… I get home at 5:30pm M-F and then make dinner. We sit down for dinner by 6:30pm. At 7pm, we begin our quiet time – no TV, go get a book or puzzle, etc. I don’t really get much time during the week to play with them outside. Mornings are hectic and evenings are pretty packed. Rick tries to take them to the park or the gym (where they can play in the kids’ area) in the afternoons when he has the energy!

      • Not excuses – just a busy life. Maybe when it gets a bit warmer you can squeeze a little outdoor fun in before dinner. It’s so hard to be working full time – but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Just had a hell morning with my boy who stripped every item of clothing off 4 times, screamed his head off continuously and who I had to carry kicking and screaming down to the school bus. Yay!

      • Oh my goodness! You have infinitely more patience than I do lol I’m not even sure what I would have done in that situation!

  5. A lot of people think I have some infinite source of patience – but I certainly don’t! I get just as frustrated as anyone and sometimes I just have to sit down and have a good cry about it all, but mostly I just keep trying to keep my cool under fire!

  6. Hi Sara, this post came to my email when you wrote and I wanted to respond right away but didn’t get a chance. First I can relate to the so many things to blog about–my head circles with ideas. Now that I’m finally writing more consistently, I find even though I get frustrated, this is the outlet I need to keep myself at least a little more sane. On that note, I can relate to my son’s angst (he’s the one I’m struggling with regarding ADD and if/what he has.). He is now consumed with computer games, which I really have to control (e.g. no computer during the week and limited on weekends; he would play all day and night if allowed). When he was younger, I found that painting really calmed him down. (So does playing in the dirt!) Because of the computer, he really doesn’t want to do art as much, but I know it’s a strength so I keep him in an art class and he now attends an art camp where he also plays chess. He gets into a zone when he paints and it’s amazing. Unfortunately, computer games are so much more rewarding for children. And the pull is extraordinary–I find that it consumes his thoughts well after the playing is done (in fact, I will do a post on this!) Anyway, I can’t relate exactly to what you go through, but some of it is familiar. I wonder if there is an activity that can keep your son still, like music, that he can do on his own. Oh-the connection I was making to self: I related to my son because I could see that when I don’t practice my “art”, my anxiousness increases.
    On the diet, you mentioned soda. When my husband went on a diet years ago, he made many eating changes. Counting his calories is what did it; he modeled it off a diet I once went on when I gained weight in college. Simply cutting out things like soda, extra cheese, extra butter, etc. and adding in walking, as you mentioned, will make a big difference. He did no exercise (which is not great) but maintaining a certain number of calories each day, and journaling it, forced him to learn what he was eating. I myself am huge with caffeine and need to cut it out, but my caffeine fix comes from tea. When everything else seems so out of control, having that sense of control with what you eat would probably help a lot. Do you think so?
    Lastly, on the k and school thing. I totally agree. In fact, I’m sorry I had to wait on one of my children because he missed the birthday cut-off. I’m all for getting them in and going, unless there is some real reason to hold back. As a parent who does not hold back, I find it very frustrating to have children be over a year ahead of my children in school. I was one of the youngest and also the smallest, but does that mean I wasn’t ready? I think it does a disservice to children when they are not in the grade they should be in.
    I guess I’m rambling, and I hardly know you! But you are so open and it is so refreshing. I wish you well in all your rambling ways.

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