Words are failing me lately. I have thought of so many things to blog about that I don’t know where to start. None of these things go that well together, yet on their own, they would each make for a pretty lackluster blog.
And yet… I feel odd not writing for days on end.
We’re still struggling with medication issues. Colin seems to be sleeping better, which is good. He’s still wandering out at lord-only-knows-o’clock to sleep on the couch, but at least he’s sleeping. He seems – to me – quite out of control on the 20mg Adderall XR and yet he’s having “green” days in school, so I’m not what we should do. Mornings and evenings are more of a terror than usual. Even sending him to his room doesn’t work, because he physically can’t stay in there for more than a few seconds at a time – door open or shut, it doesn’t matter. He will pop his head out or ask a question or tell you something every flippin’ 30 seconds. I would honestly say mornings are better than evenings, but even that’s a struggle. Within 5 minutes of waking up (if you’re lucky) he’s at 10 on the hyper scale.
Evenings? He’s on 12.
The mixed blessing is he’s become a bottomless pit. He’s out-eating all of us at most meals and constantly asking for snacks! Hopefully he’ll gain a few pounds!
We won’t see the Psych until 5/31 due to scheduling issues. Phone calls haven’t seemed to cut it – again, I never feel like we’re explaining things quite right.
Last Friday was Robbie’s Kindergarten Graduation. So much cuteness. I wish I could share some pics without violating the privacy of others, but I’ll just keep them to myself for now. They put on a little production to show off what they’ve learned this year. This school has been so good for Robbie. He’s learned a good bit of Spanish as well as improved his handwriting and spelling. He’s learned dance, theater and art basics. He’s just blossomed in ways he never would have at the daycare we had him in last year.
I was surprised to learn that most of the other parents are holding their kids back and repeating kindergarten in the fall – even kids that are technically old enough to be in 1st grade without any testing. Here I am testing to push him ahead. I don’t feel that my choice is any better or worse than those parents holding their kids back. Sure, he may mature a little slower than the other kids in his class, but what about the ones being held back? They’ll be hitting puberty before any of their peers. I have to imagine that it all evens out somewhere along the way. As long as he’s capable, I want to give him opportunities to excel.
The other thing that’s been weighing on my mind…is me. In fact, I’ve been pretty self-absorbed lately. Not entirely a bad thing from time to time.
I was going through the process to get the Lap Band procedure done. Rick had it done almost 2 years ago and has just done great. I even started a little side blog about it – http://eyeononederland.wordpress.com
Today, I got the call that I don’t meet insurance requirements. No lap band for me.
However, through the past two months of working on the insurance requirements (the ones I was able to meet), I learned a lot about myself. I’ve had a mental switching of gears and – lap band or not – I’m ready for change. I’m taking better care of myself and I have a goal in mind. I want to lose 70-80lbs over the next 12-18 months. Not unrealistic.
I have studied nutrition so much over the past 15+ years – I know the ins & outs, I understand why I crave the things I do, etc. I have always approached this part of my life scientifically – I’m not one for “fad” diets or insane exercise routines. I love attending boot camps when I can afford to, but we also have a regular gym membership and my office building has access to a great walking path with shade that winds around a pond.
In anticipation of getting lap band, I had Rick take “before” pictures for me. Front, side, back… the view from all angles were such a painful reality check. The next day, I renewed my vow of fitness and nutrition. I’ve been journaling my food and exercise – today is just day 4, but I already feel a difference.
I’m rambling. If you want to know more about all that, please take a look at the other blog… I ramble there even more. 🙂
I’m feeling a bit deflated at the moment. Stress with Colin, summer approaching, lap band denial… I’m ready for that week in July when Rick and I can just relax and escape from everything for a bit. I need to recharge.
My kingdom for a nap right about now. 🙂